Hey!
Yes, I'm posting on a day that isn't months after my last - shocker. Well , my reason is that I had something that I really wanted to share with you all , in hope of possibly helping some of you.
Yesterday , I had my Grade 4 Musical Theatre exam - and I was terrified. I had to sing 2 songs , act out a monologue & then perform a 'movement piece' (basically just dancing!).
For starters , i'd never sung on my own in front of anyone (apart from my parents) , and it was something I had vowed to never do. It just seemed so intimidaing - and when I first got news of this exam , I nearly quit my stage school , for fear of having to sing alone!
You must be wondering why I went to a stage school if I can't even sing on my own , and honestly I don't know myself! My parents knew I loved acting , and dancing etc. and so they sent me there , in hope that it would build up my confidence. And it did , I became far more carefree and confident - I definitely went out of my comfort zone !
Yet , I still couldn't bring myself to sing in front of an audience. I always hid behind other people & avoided solos like they were the flu!
I'm being serious when I say that I nearly quit - I was absolutely horrified at the prospect of having to finally sing alone. But , after weeks of thorough consideration - I decided to stay , and to face my fears. I'm so glad that did . I already feel far more confident , and everybody that's heard me sing have all said that I had nothing to be so scared about & that they wondered why I had hidden my voice for so long.
But then my exam came , and along came the jittery nerves. I mean, I was facing a huge fear of mine - and then being assessed on it. People couldn't say the ol' 'At least no one is judging you,' saying , because they were !
After rehearsing my exam , and feeling slightly more assured of myself (despite realising that they'd cut a whole chunk out of one of my songs and then having to quickly re-adjust) , it was time for me to go in.
I think , more than the actual performing aspect, I was nervous about the introductions and questions. They're the things that you simply can't practice. I had been told different things from all of the instructors and I felt incredibly flustered , but I went in - and the examiner was lovely.
Turns out , I didn't really have to introduce anything (or I did , and I just didn't - but I really hope it was the first thing!). The examiner asked me what my first song was , and I replied with an awkward ,
''Diamonds Are A Girls' Best Friend .'' ,
And then I was left wondering whether I should add in the production it was from , and the date etc. for another two minutes! She then asked me for my next song , 'movement piece' music , and what I was acting.
So, I started singing my first song. Everything was going smoothly and I was slowly slipping into the whole 'enjoyment factor' of perfroming . And then it all stopped.
Halfway through the song , the track stopped and switched to some other random upbeat song , and I literally froze. I had no clue what to do , the person in charge of playing the music quickly put it back , and after a few moments of trying to find my place back in the music , I continued .
After a few more lines of singing , the track changed again - and this time , when the guy tried to change it back , it said it was a corrupted file. I was mortified. I wanted to burst into tears and just run out of the room.
But instead , the examiner asked if i'd like to do my next song , and I continued.
The rest of the exam went along without a hitch , but the whole way through I kept thinking of that musical disaster.
I just felt so unbelievably disappointed , and I felt that I had ruined everything. I thought that they'd mark me down since I had only sung half of the song , so I hadn't met the full requirement. I thought of how awkward I felt finding my place in the music , and whether I had sung the right things. I wondered whether i'd still get the Distinction that I wanted really badly. It was just an overall , really bad feeling and I wanted to have a good old sob , right there.
When the questions came , I answered them all confidently - and I don't think , had you been there , you would've realised that i'd had a technical problem earlier. However , the little issue had made all my exam anxieties sky rocket , and I kept over thinking everything I said.
After the exam was over , the guy in charge of the music apologised - and I did my utmost to assure him that it was fine , without crying.
I then went downstairs , and after getting one glimpse of my mum - and her asking how it went , I cracked. I started sobbing , and telling her everything in those broken sentences that you tend to speak in when you're upset.
I ran into one of my friends who had just done her exam , and she was so lovely and was really concerned - but I said that everything was alright and that it was just a little technical issue. It was so upsetting and I really didn't want to cry - and everyone in the room was staring at me with pitiful looks and I just wanted to run away.
Upon reaching home , my parents comforted me and told me that the examiner wouldn't mark me down since the incident wasn't my fault. They said that if anything , I'd score higher - since I continued and the rest of my exam went smoothly.
When my stage school friends asked how my exam went , over the Whatsapp chat we'd made , I confessed and told them everything and that I felt extremely disheartened. All their replies were so comforting and I now feel alot better about how it went.
They seemed to care more than my close school friends , who just blatantly changed the topic to one of their crush dilemmas - but oh well. I'm sure it wasnt intentional (aha , bit of passive aggression there , teehee!)
And so , here I am. Having survived the horror that was my Grade 4 Musical Theatre exam , and i'm okay.
I realised that I wanted to share this , since I know that exams can be petrifying - especially if you're facing one of your fears whilst you're at it. And I know that sometimes it can be beyond frustrating when your venting out your nerves and pacing etc. and the only response you get is 'You'll be fine,'.
You simply want to scream , 'What if i'm not , huh?!' .
The truth is , once you step in the exam room - you have no control over the technical things. You have no control over the examiner's inner emotions. But you do have control over your performance , and the way you deal with all these obstacles thrown at you. And as long as you go in , with a confident smile and you've practiced to your heart's content , you'll be absolutely , postively smashing (because we hate the 'fine' word!)
Yes, I'm posting on a day that isn't months after my last - shocker. Well , my reason is that I had something that I really wanted to share with you all , in hope of possibly helping some of you.
Yesterday , I had my Grade 4 Musical Theatre exam - and I was terrified. I had to sing 2 songs , act out a monologue & then perform a 'movement piece' (basically just dancing!).
For starters , i'd never sung on my own in front of anyone (apart from my parents) , and it was something I had vowed to never do. It just seemed so intimidaing - and when I first got news of this exam , I nearly quit my stage school , for fear of having to sing alone!
You must be wondering why I went to a stage school if I can't even sing on my own , and honestly I don't know myself! My parents knew I loved acting , and dancing etc. and so they sent me there , in hope that it would build up my confidence. And it did , I became far more carefree and confident - I definitely went out of my comfort zone !
Yet , I still couldn't bring myself to sing in front of an audience. I always hid behind other people & avoided solos like they were the flu!
I'm being serious when I say that I nearly quit - I was absolutely horrified at the prospect of having to finally sing alone. But , after weeks of thorough consideration - I decided to stay , and to face my fears. I'm so glad that did . I already feel far more confident , and everybody that's heard me sing have all said that I had nothing to be so scared about & that they wondered why I had hidden my voice for so long.
But then my exam came , and along came the jittery nerves. I mean, I was facing a huge fear of mine - and then being assessed on it. People couldn't say the ol' 'At least no one is judging you,' saying , because they were !
After rehearsing my exam , and feeling slightly more assured of myself (despite realising that they'd cut a whole chunk out of one of my songs and then having to quickly re-adjust) , it was time for me to go in.
I think , more than the actual performing aspect, I was nervous about the introductions and questions. They're the things that you simply can't practice. I had been told different things from all of the instructors and I felt incredibly flustered , but I went in - and the examiner was lovely.
Turns out , I didn't really have to introduce anything (or I did , and I just didn't - but I really hope it was the first thing!). The examiner asked me what my first song was , and I replied with an awkward ,
''Diamonds Are A Girls' Best Friend .'' ,
And then I was left wondering whether I should add in the production it was from , and the date etc. for another two minutes! She then asked me for my next song , 'movement piece' music , and what I was acting.
So, I started singing my first song. Everything was going smoothly and I was slowly slipping into the whole 'enjoyment factor' of perfroming . And then it all stopped.
Halfway through the song , the track stopped and switched to some other random upbeat song , and I literally froze. I had no clue what to do , the person in charge of playing the music quickly put it back , and after a few moments of trying to find my place back in the music , I continued .
After a few more lines of singing , the track changed again - and this time , when the guy tried to change it back , it said it was a corrupted file. I was mortified. I wanted to burst into tears and just run out of the room.
But instead , the examiner asked if i'd like to do my next song , and I continued.
The rest of the exam went along without a hitch , but the whole way through I kept thinking of that musical disaster.
I just felt so unbelievably disappointed , and I felt that I had ruined everything. I thought that they'd mark me down since I had only sung half of the song , so I hadn't met the full requirement. I thought of how awkward I felt finding my place in the music , and whether I had sung the right things. I wondered whether i'd still get the Distinction that I wanted really badly. It was just an overall , really bad feeling and I wanted to have a good old sob , right there.
When the questions came , I answered them all confidently - and I don't think , had you been there , you would've realised that i'd had a technical problem earlier. However , the little issue had made all my exam anxieties sky rocket , and I kept over thinking everything I said.
After the exam was over , the guy in charge of the music apologised - and I did my utmost to assure him that it was fine , without crying.
I then went downstairs , and after getting one glimpse of my mum - and her asking how it went , I cracked. I started sobbing , and telling her everything in those broken sentences that you tend to speak in when you're upset.
I ran into one of my friends who had just done her exam , and she was so lovely and was really concerned - but I said that everything was alright and that it was just a little technical issue. It was so upsetting and I really didn't want to cry - and everyone in the room was staring at me with pitiful looks and I just wanted to run away.
Upon reaching home , my parents comforted me and told me that the examiner wouldn't mark me down since the incident wasn't my fault. They said that if anything , I'd score higher - since I continued and the rest of my exam went smoothly.
When my stage school friends asked how my exam went , over the Whatsapp chat we'd made , I confessed and told them everything and that I felt extremely disheartened. All their replies were so comforting and I now feel alot better about how it went.
They seemed to care more than my close school friends , who just blatantly changed the topic to one of their crush dilemmas - but oh well. I'm sure it wasnt intentional (aha , bit of passive aggression there , teehee!)
And so , here I am. Having survived the horror that was my Grade 4 Musical Theatre exam , and i'm okay.
I realised that I wanted to share this , since I know that exams can be petrifying - especially if you're facing one of your fears whilst you're at it. And I know that sometimes it can be beyond frustrating when your venting out your nerves and pacing etc. and the only response you get is 'You'll be fine,'.
You simply want to scream , 'What if i'm not , huh?!' .
The truth is , once you step in the exam room - you have no control over the technical things. You have no control over the examiner's inner emotions. But you do have control over your performance , and the way you deal with all these obstacles thrown at you. And as long as you go in , with a confident smile and you've practiced to your heart's content , you'll be absolutely , postively smashing (because we hate the 'fine' word!)
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